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I so desperately wanted to see him and so dreaded it that I was frozen in place for a few seconds. Finally, I opened the door and he just swept me into his arms and hugged me. All the fear melted away and I just wanted to stay in that embrace forever.He came in and we made chitchat while I fixed some tea. He asked if I was okay about fifty times and I finally pulled the bandage away from my neck and showed him. I think he almost threw up. I know I did the first time I looked at it in a mirror. And, little bitch that I am, I was thinking that if he was that concerned, why didn’t he come and visit me in the hospital? At the same time, I was still scared of the lecture he’d give me about deceiving him and relationships built on trust. The question—or accusation—never came.The longer it went, the more guilty I felt and then I got really irritated with the guy because he should have been criticizing me. I was sitting there getting more and more upset with him just because he wasn’t. But why wouldn't I have? I had a father who hated me, a mother wholooked the other way during his verbal beat downs and two brothers whocould barely tolerate me. Only one brother who could barely tolerateme, my other brother thought I was weird person and always had been. Icould feel Jenny release my hand. For a second, I felt I had lost her.This was going to be it. Everyone who I had cared about was going toreject me. But I should have known better as Jenny slowly wrapped herarm around my waist. It was the pronouncement by one of the otherimportant women in my life that buoyed me."Alexa didn't reject us. We always just wanted you all to be happy.That's it. Sure, I can throw in all the other things about hard work,doing on to others, etc., etc. When I read that article, and watchedthat interview I realized she was not happy as Alex. Do I understandit, no I do not, but as the lord as my witness this person here, is mychild." She paused and looked back at me with a.
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